From the recording ALTER EGOS LP4
I have only recently started writing and recording songs, and needed help to get started, especially with recording and distribution. When you look for this help you are never sure what will happen and you are quite vulnerable. It did not take long to discover that the help could cost money, and you had to be very lucky to find people who genuinely believed in what you are doing and could give you the constructive support you needed. I was lucky to find that, and leave behind the narcissistic, useless and money-grabbing exploiters out there who would promise the earth and not deliver. Or the people who would offer their help, but didn’t have the time or the knowledge and then blamed you for not doing things properly.
The song is partly my story, but also the story of everyone who wants to do something new and needs support – not just with music, but with everything else that offers a solution. It is called “The problem was you” because so often you feel that you yourself were the problem, that what you were doing was not good enough and that they were to blame. But as time goes by you begin to realise that you are not the problem, but they are – perhaps they are only interested in earning money from you, or they don’t have the skills, or the time. What is even more frustrating is that once you release a song you can get really nice and positive feedback from some “fans” who turn out to be promoters who offer to get you thousands more plays - for money of course. Hence the line in the song: “It’s delusional to think that if you pay, people want to hear you play”.
Such challenging experiences make you stronger and tougher in the end, and I suppose the message is - don’t give up! Follow your dream. Not everyone will find, like or follow you. But does that matter? You have put your creativity out there. And, again, if you are lucky enough, you will find people with expertise who believe in you and will give you the support you need – as has happened with me.
Credits:
Steve - music, lyrics, vocals and all instruments
Michael Krebs - mixing
Milan Holz- mastering
Lyrics
I can see it now.
It must be true.
Thought the problem was me.
But it was you
It’s hard when you start something new.
There’s a mountain to climb, and untested view.
You look for help to get it right
On your own is a constant fight.
They flatter and charm, make you feel great
Hook you in – special package rebate
Pay up front, then they’ll like what you do,
But their motivation is not about you.
In the end I decided to give it a try.
Had nothing to lose, perhaps it could fly
It didn’t turn out the way I expected.
It took far too long, seemed disconnected.
Everything seemed to be complicated.
You said it was me, you were vindicated.
Didn’t give up – though I wanted to
Then I realised the problem was you.
Playing mind games, Your need for control.
Profit your only goal.
I can see it now. It must be true.
Thought the problem was me, but it was you.
It was you.
Red flags flying. Getting nowhere.
You offered nothing. Didn’t care.
When you didn’t answer the phone.
I knew that I was on my own.
You may have my money – that’s as far as it goes.
In the small print I have nothing to lose.
What is your problem? Why are you this way?
You only care if I pay.
With your mind games. Need for control.
Break free from that deep hole.
I can see it now. It must be true.
Thought the problem was me, but it was you.
Took a long time to realise that your kind words were just a disguise.
Can’t talk about it. You wouldn’t care
As long as you get what you think is your share.
Then all is ok. Money has saved the day.
I’ll live to fight another day.
How do you deal with this situation?
Give up? Go forwards? Seek confrontation?
Move on from this hard life lesson.
Before it is a constant obsession.
Now I do things on my own.
Take advice when I need…I’m not alone.
It’s delusional to think that if you pay,
People want to hear you play.
Forget mind games. It’s not about you.
Questioned myself. What more could I do.
Can see it now. It must be true.
Thought the problem was me.
But it was you.
It was you. It was you.